Saw the doctor on Monday for a six month checkup. I've gained ten pounds since my last visit six months ago. I'm now 45 pounds overweight. I am not happy with this at all! They also took blood on Monday and I got my blood test results back last night. Everything looked decent except my triglycerides. Doc said they were up to 383 (from 319 six months ago). She asked if I had been sticking to the low fat, low cholesterol diet. I said no. She encouraged me to get back on it and stay on it this time.

I have a family history of heart disease, high cholesterol and high blood pressure and with triglyceride levels like that I'll have a coronary before I'm 40 for sure!!

This has made me look more deeply at how destructive my eating habits have really been. I am basically killing myself. If I look at it this way, I can honestly say I don't want to kill myself. I want plenty of time to be with my family and friends (most especially my three and a half year old daughter Amy). I also want as much time as I can to continually improve my dharma practice and be of some service to my fellow human beings.

Looking honestly at the precept of "Do not kill or harm life" I have to say that I have not been very skillful in following this precept. I have an opportunity to improve my practice every time I eat or drink throughout the day. It's going to take some time and effort to change the destructive habit energies I have build up around my consumption of food and drink. But I need to start to turn my focus to this, NOW.